A Full Year
I have been baptized a Jehovah's Witness for a little over a year now. I have progressed so much I think. My faith has been tested in so many ways, and its not the end either. I have been told that because I am a Witness now, Satan will be attacking me more than people of the world. Which is completely true! I have appreciated the provisions that Jehovah has given us, the new JW Broadcasting, the new songs, the new Caleb & Sophia videos, and all the other videos presented through the JW Broadcasting. The JW Library app is completely integrated with JW Broadcasting if you want to download anything. Most of the publications are available to download in the JW Library app - which is what I appreciate because I have read some literature on my tablet especially the 2015 Yearbook this year.There has also been a lot of changes in my full time job that has troubled me spiritually and I am still trying to cope with the changes made that has affected me directly and indirectly. It has been really rough and I am slowly but surely getting past it all.
(my new haircut - spring 2015)
Blessing
I got baptized on April 5th, 2014 along side Natalie and Chris, other bible students from my hall. It was a really joyous day. I felt so nervous and giddy all at the same time. All baptismal candidates sat in the front row of the assembly hall in Kempur Arena. It was the best seats in the house! Too bad there was no drama, lol! Its also probably the one and only time I would ever sit that close to the podium. Natalie and I talked, she seems really nice, we have been talking about getting together to hang out or something, but nothing hasn't come of it yet. Chris also seems nice too but I don't really talk to him much. Both of them have families. Fran, the sister I studied the God's Love book, she took lots of pictures of me during the baptism, which is a good thing. She knows how much I love pictures!It is a blessing to be part of this amazing organization. There are times I get frustrated because of certain situations but I love the congregation I am in. Everyone makes me feel at home, some people invite me out with them to eat and hang out, sometimes I invite myself lol... and then I am the unofficial computer person in my congregation who almost everyone asks for assistance. I help one of the elders with his computer and printer connections, a relative of another elder just bought himself and his wife a tablet and they asked me to help them with that, and a group of the single older sisters would ask me every once in a while for assistance on their computers, tablets and smartphones. A sister moved from point A to point B to point C, and all 3 times I helped disconnect and reconnect all her electronics i.e. tv, dvd player, computer & phone. At one point, I was getting frustrated because I was the only one helping others and nobody helps me whenever I need help with tech stuff but a sister told me that I am special because I have such a willing spirit to help others and that Jehovah has used me to do so. I am so quick to think negative but I try to think positive and optimistic especially when I am around other people.
Field Service
Whenever I am out in field service, I always have a smile on my face and always joke around. There are some of the friends who don't seem to smile or talk much and I was wondering why. A sister told me that its just a difference of personalities in a car group versus another group of personalities in another car group. I always try to draw people out, but sometimes it can be draining if its one way all the time. Everyone is great to go out in field service with. I just enjoy being out with the brothers and sisters, getting to know other people and their stories on how they found the truth.The campaign in August was amazing. I was so used to being around the older brothers and sisters in field service, that the whole month of August I was finally doing service with the younger brothers and sisters. It was a breath of fresh air! I was so excited that I took pictures of everyone with the tracts and bibles. There was even one Saturday I went out with 2 elders and their wives, (that was a rarity for me), I asked if I could make a poster/collage of the August campaign for everyone. Liberty congregation has almost half rural territory and half city territory. I did mostly city so most of us (young ones) walked door to door. So when I took pictures of people, it was usually of the younger ones in my car groups! The older ones did rural territories. They usually stay in the car and drive from house to house. Whoever has a hard time walking, they take the houses with less stairs or no stairs at all. The somewhat of the younger of the older ones would take the houses with more stairs.
Work
A lot has happened at work. It was challenging and it troubled me emotionally. It went from being a job I loved to a job that I hated to a job that I can barely tolerate. I have been doing graphic design for over a decade. Graphic design is a craft that I have always had a passion for. No matter what regular jobs I had, I always found work as an independent contractor. I was able to practice what I learned from community college and trade school over the years on my own. So what happened at work within the past year, really hurt me so much with my confidence and self-esteem issues. I was finally good with myself, I was able to say I did graphic design for a living and I was proud of myself.
Basically what happened at work:
1. The president got terminated and replaced by the recent person he hired before he got terminated.
2. My supervisor who I was working with via Skype moved back into town, and got promoted to C.O.O. and I just continued to help him with work.
3. Old management got stripped away their powers but still are vital to the company and still present; new management started making changes around work but not implementing them. Same problems, different people.
4. More meetings behind closed doors, a lot of hush conversations and back talking. That means everyone else in the office in those meetings and I was left in the office to answer phone calls with no sales people available and I have to deal with customers.
4. New management hired an outside marketing team then fired them, then hired a person to replace what I originally did. Someone who graduated from a university and has obviously more experience than me.
The last part was the hardest one for me to get past. But I am finally coming to terms with it. Thats why it took me so long to blog about it. I doubted my abilities as a graphic designer, I doubted my passion, I doubted whether my skills are worth anything to prove to the new management at work or anybody else. A couple months ago, we received a letter from the headquarters saying that they are in need of people who are skilled in the arts. I was originally going to apply when the letter was read at the meeting but because what happened at work affected me so much, I didn't want to anymore. Everyone who knew me best, told me to apply! There was at times recently I feel more at ease with myself. I have been doing more personal study, meditated and prayed more to Jehovah, talking to him about everything that has been troubling me. I told him I need help to be spiritually strong and to be at peace. There were at times I felt an anxiety attack and it scared me to death. Thats how bad I was. I knew Jehovah can help me, because I can sense he helped me through my transitions from different phases of my life. I am the type of person who is bad with words but Jehovah helped me with writing my last talk, the one on What Does the Bible Promise For the Future? I was surprised at myself and I knew it was Jehovah who helped me write the talk. I talked a couple of my close friends about my situation and it has helped me a little bit. What really helped me is time. Time to deal emotionally with personal study, prayer and meditation. For every single time we had a meeting or watchtower study article, I think about what the material is and apply it in my life.
Now as I am helping out a friend move out of state, I am more at peace with myself and am ready to apply to work at Bethel, either working remotely from home or going there to help out in the many projects that are in place. I am going to submit it this weekend. I already sent the web links of my portfolio to the congregation secretary. I might not get accepted but at least, I did it. And I will continually progress as a bible student and draw closer to Jehovah.
Basically what happened at work:
1. The president got terminated and replaced by the recent person he hired before he got terminated.
2. My supervisor who I was working with via Skype moved back into town, and got promoted to C.O.O. and I just continued to help him with work.
3. Old management got stripped away their powers but still are vital to the company and still present; new management started making changes around work but not implementing them. Same problems, different people.
4. More meetings behind closed doors, a lot of hush conversations and back talking. That means everyone else in the office in those meetings and I was left in the office to answer phone calls with no sales people available and I have to deal with customers.
4. New management hired an outside marketing team then fired them, then hired a person to replace what I originally did. Someone who graduated from a university and has obviously more experience than me.
The last part was the hardest one for me to get past. But I am finally coming to terms with it. Thats why it took me so long to blog about it. I doubted my abilities as a graphic designer, I doubted my passion, I doubted whether my skills are worth anything to prove to the new management at work or anybody else. A couple months ago, we received a letter from the headquarters saying that they are in need of people who are skilled in the arts. I was originally going to apply when the letter was read at the meeting but because what happened at work affected me so much, I didn't want to anymore. Everyone who knew me best, told me to apply! There was at times recently I feel more at ease with myself. I have been doing more personal study, meditated and prayed more to Jehovah, talking to him about everything that has been troubling me. I told him I need help to be spiritually strong and to be at peace. There were at times I felt an anxiety attack and it scared me to death. Thats how bad I was. I knew Jehovah can help me, because I can sense he helped me through my transitions from different phases of my life. I am the type of person who is bad with words but Jehovah helped me with writing my last talk, the one on What Does the Bible Promise For the Future? I was surprised at myself and I knew it was Jehovah who helped me write the talk. I talked a couple of my close friends about my situation and it has helped me a little bit. What really helped me is time. Time to deal emotionally with personal study, prayer and meditation. For every single time we had a meeting or watchtower study article, I think about what the material is and apply it in my life.
Now as I am helping out a friend move out of state, I am more at peace with myself and am ready to apply to work at Bethel, either working remotely from home or going there to help out in the many projects that are in place. I am going to submit it this weekend. I already sent the web links of my portfolio to the congregation secretary. I might not get accepted but at least, I did it. And I will continually progress as a bible student and draw closer to Jehovah.
(my hairstyle - fall 2014)
